Phantom Lover
by Neptune's Mask
Summary: There seems to be a rift between Haruka and Michiru, and Haruka leaves home. As tears stain her cheek, Michiru reflects on the past couple of days.
1. Phantom Lover

Michiru stared out of the large bay window, sipping her tea, and wondered where Haruka was, and if she was alright. Due to various calculative stressors, the blonde had snapped, nearly yelling at her, before storming out of the house. An errant tear fell down her cheek. She hated feeling so distant from her love, but she didn't know what to do, how to act. The past few days Haruka hadn't seemed herself at all, and although Michiru knew why she was so upset, it didn't make the shift in the tomboy's personality any easier to withstand.

Haruka had sent her a brief text about an hour ago, saying that even if they were to break up, that she'd still be friends with the aqua haired woman. That did nothing to aid the growing ache in her heart. She didn't want to be only friends with Haruka, she wanted to be with her the way that she had been for a little over three months now.

She had felt as though she'd broken through some kind of barrier when Haruka had shyly asked her if she'd like to try a relationship. She'd been elated the first time the blonde had reciprocated the sentiments of love that Michiru felt. Her heart had taken a tumble when "I love you," left the nervous lips of Haruka.

The tears steadily grew as she continued to review their most recent conversations. Haruka had seemed nearly aloof, and very, very different.

"I tried to warn you that I'm not a very emotional person. The way I've been up until now isn't how I am normally at all," Michiru recalled the blonde's words.

Her grip on the tea cup increased. It hadn't been that long, so why did it hurt so damn much? It was amazing how much impact one person could have over your life. She slowly released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in.

They say if you can love someone enough to let them go, that they may come back, and if they do, then it was meant to be. But would she be strong enough to surrender if Ruka asked it of her? That, she didn't know the answer to; for when it came to Haruka, her typically reserved, controlled, graceful nature seemed to slip through the cracks like the wind itself.

The tea was now cold, as Michiru rose from the window, attempting to dry her eyes, and opened her violin case, new notes and lyrics coming quickly to her thoughts.

_Phantom Lover_

_My heart lies burning again  
as my thoughts turn to you.  
The other part to my whole,  
leaving me empty and aching._

The wind caresses my skin  
reminding me of you.  
The two of you share so much,  
breathtaking when present, devoid otherwise.

Ardor cools as I remember,  
that the ache I feel is likely to remain  
despite how I wish it weren't so.  
Why do you have to be so damn far from me?

"I love you," speaks volumes,  
but is it enough?  
I am left to wonder when it seems  
as though you're gently pulling away.

Is that all you're destined to be?  
The phantom lover, always on my mind?  
My heart bleeds a little for you,  
hoping that I'm wrong.

Fresh tears pricked at her control as she then sat to write it down for Haruka whenever she returned. Michiru steadied herself. She couldn't depend on anyone, even her lover, her partner, her soulmate, all the time.

**Neptune's Mask**


	2. Too Little, Too Late

Chapter 2: Too Little, Too Late

Michiru sat waiting for Haruka to come back home for three whole days. She played her music, stirring all of their neighbors' hearts with the tragic beauty of its tune. She tried to paint, but inspiration would not come. Her muse seemed to have left along with the blonde. She sighed in frustration, feeling so completely helpless.

About five hours later, the front door opened. Michiru glanced at the clock, it was ten in the evening, and held her breath. Was Haruka back? She walked into the living room, and came face to face with the blonde tomboy.

"Haruka!" she called, rushing forth to hug her, but Haruka didn't respond.

"Kaioh-san, we need to talk,"she said, stepping back, leaving a confused and frightened Michiru in her wake.

Michiru felt slighted by the sudden usage of honorifics again, and merely nodded, following her over to the cream suede couch in the living room. However, rather than talking, Haruka handed her a slip of paper in an envelope.

Michiru looked apprehensively at Haruka, then haltingly opened it. Her mouth drew into a thin line, and she regarded Haruka with a strained tone.

"I see. So what does this mean for us then?"

Silence was her response.

Michiru felt her composure begin to waver. "Haruka, why? Why are you doing this? You know that the military would give you a dishonorable discharge for your orientation?"

Again, Haruka did not say a word.

Michiru's eyes began to sting sharply. "You are going to leave me because of it, aren't you?"

Haruka set her teeth, this was harder than she thought it was going to be. She rose to her feet, and after taking a deep breath, turned to look Michiru dead in the eyes. "Yes, Michiru-san, I am. The Army has been my dream for almost as long as I can remember. They are willing to let me back in, and therefore, we have to end this," she said, willing herself to remain unaffected by whatever Michiru's reaction might be.

Michiru felt her throat constrict, and an indescribable pain seeming to originate in her heart, ripped through her entire being. "How dare you," she said harshly, in a voice barely above a whisper. "You know damn well that I know how to be discrete. You're choosing the easy way out because you know that it would take time, effort, and work to stay as we are," she paused," were, rather. Coward. I cannot believe you, nor can I forgive you. Get out," she said, now biting her lip in an effort not to reveal the agony her soul was feeling. She was desperate to conceal her weakness with resentment and anger, but she also knew that would not last long.

Haruka nodded, "I'll send a delivery service to pick up the things that I'll need to take with me. I'm sorry that things didn't work out differently." She made to leave when Michiru caught her off guard by grabbing her arm.

She turned to her, appalled, and surprised further when the aqua haired woman roughly kissed her before pulling away quickly. "I don't know what's come over you, Haruka," Michiru said, "but you aren't the same person I fell in love with at all. I would have supported you going back to the military, or have waited for you, but you didn't give me either option. I will let you leave after you answer one question."

Teal eyes were blazing, and her voice terse when she said,"Alright then, ask it."

Michiru felt her resolve shatter anew at this, but asked in a quiet voice, unbroken by tears," Am I not good enough?" standing by Haruka's side, wishing for some sign that the blonde still cared, had ever cared.

Haruka hadn't been expecting that. Her gaze softened ever so slightly. "It isn't you, Michi, " she said, stopping to kiss her lightly on the forehead," but it's something that can't be changed." Then she put on her shoes and walked out the door.

She thought she was in the clear, but then she heard a loud crashing sound, and looked over her shoulder. She saw Michiru collapsed on the floor, and saw endless tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Aishiteru yo," she said softly in the blonde's direction, and Haruka's heart cringed at the sight, but she kept on walking. "Aishiteru yo!" she screamed it this time, starting to get back to her feet to maybe make Haruka change her mind.

"Don't you have any dignity?," Haruka forced herself to say in parting, then continued all the way to her car, driving off to her Army recruiter's office, never looking back, because part of her knew that she couldn't stand the sight of Michiru crying again.

Michiru sat dumbfounded on her floor, how could this have happened? She didn't know, and wasn't going to wait to find out. She grabbed her own car keys, and drove until she reached the ocean's edge. She stopped the car, got out and walked into the water, continuing to cry as she continued to walk. She let the sea surround her with its whispers and screams. 'Goddamn you, Ruka,' she thought as the final bitter tear slid down her face, and she was enveloped in its embrace..

A/N: Usagi is a bit OOC but I needed her to be .

Five years later Haruka returned to Tokyo, only to find that all of her former friends hated her, and none would speak to her.

"What on earth is this about?" she questioned of Usagi, the only one who, at last, looked her way.

"You mean you don't know?" The other blonde asked incredulously.

"Know what?" Haruka asked, bewildered about all the negativity she felt directed toward her.

"Of course she doesn't," Makoto chimed in harshly, "She never cared enough to find out."

Usagi stopped Makoto with a touch of the arm, regarding the other woman. "She deserves to know. Haruka-san," Usagi began, facing the blonde," The day that you left, Michiru-san, well, she walked into the sea, and never came back. She's gone Haruka-san." Usagi finished, bowing her head yet again for the loss of her friend.

"That's impossible!" Haruka nearly shouted, she felt her heart crack somewhere, but viciously clamped down on her emotions. If she was going to cry, it sure wouldn't be here..

Usagi looked grim. "Actually Haruka-san, no it isn't. When I said Michiru-san is gone, I meant it. She's at peace now, and you," she paused here, to glare at Haruka," are the reason why we lost our dear friend. You alone caused her so much pain, and that's why we can't stand you. Now you know, so now you can go back to America, or hell, I don't care which so long as it isn't here. It seems so little to ask really,"Usagi finished with a malicious little smile and casual shrug of her shoulders.

Haruka visibly flinched, she'd never seen Usagi this way, or ever expected to feel such strong loathing coming from her former "koneko." She bowed a little, and started to walk away, only for Makoto to catch her arm. "And if you come anywhere near us again, you'll only cause trouble if not worse. We'll be watching you," the brunette said, before delivering a swift uppercut to the unsuspecting blonde's chin for added effect.

Makoto had always been almost as hotheaded as Haruka, but the blonde really thought this was a little overkill. She applauded herself on her amazing self-control, though, because Haruka managed to leave without contributing to the fight. Holding her jaw, and trying to ignore the stars in her field of vision, she retreated to her car and took the well-worn path to the beach.

Once there, Haruka stepped out of the car, her hands clenched in tight fists, and slowly approached the lapping waves. Looking down, she felt the sting of the ocean's spray graze her face. Her iron control slipping away, the full realization hit her. She'd never be able to hear Michiru play the violin in a private concert just for her again. She'd never be able to touch her satiny cheek, or to kiss her perfect lips, or to see her face when they made love. Her tears began to mingle with the water, and she knew she'd never be able to tell Michiru how much she loved her again. 'Haruka, you're truly a fool,' she lamented, throwing her head back and wailing lustily at the injustice, and the pain. She weakly grasped the pendant Michiru had given her on the night of their engagement, breathing raggedly, then screamed as she felt anew the impossible agony. At that moment, something gossamer and pale was cruelly ripped from her, and in that instant, Haruka knew it to be her soul.

The End

A/N: Holy crapola... It's been a long time since I updated this story. Sorry! I just really wasn't sure where to go with this, but I did finally finish it!!!! Sorry again, I've just had trouble with my Haruka and Michiru stories lately. Life likes to interfere that way. -hands readers and reviewers cookies- Forgive me?

**Neptune's Mask**


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